I’m laying here in my hospital bed, waiting for the time. It’s a little passed 3 am, and today’s the day we bring you into the world, Aspen Christopher.
You’re so strong. I can already feel that as you move inside my womb, little one. But you’ve got an inner strength too. Like a grounded tree. After all, that’s what your name comes from.
Trees dig deep into the earth with their roots, clinging to the ground to give themselves an advantage. Some may say we humans can liken that to “never forget where you came from.” Your “roots.” But I say, never forget that you’re drawing from a source. Your strength and ability to stand isn’t from you. But from the soil where you’re planted, the thing that nourishes you.
So, baby, I speak this: God is your one true source. If you’re not grounded in Him it’ll be so easy to be knocked down by the winds of the very real enemy. I hope I do a good job of instilling that in you. And yet, God has shown me that even when I think I’m failing, He’s in this too. Parenting your big brother and sisters with me. So I know you’re already smack dab in the palm of His hand. I pray you never forget it.
I can’t wait to meet you, my mighty little man of valor. And I thank God for letting me be your mom. For giving me the opportunity to bring you into this world and cultivate the soil of your heart.
Know that I’m not perfect.
I’m going to make mistakes.
Lots of them.
But that’s kind of the beauty of life. Nothing is perfect other than the One who created it. The rest of us can be broken. We can be a little rough around the edges. But when He’s invited in, great things still happen.
I’m a little nervous, you know. Not to meet you. I can’t wait for that! I can’t wait to hold the baby boy that’s been bouncing in my belly for the last 9 months.
But I want it all to go smoothly. Getting you here. You see, the thing about us imperfect humans is that we always seem to be striving for perfection in everything around us. I’ve been anxious about all the things I don’t know that may come my way today. There are lots of variables when it comes to giving birth. And I’m just human. Sometimes I worry. Yet, as I’m typing this, I know that God has given me peace. I know He holds this day for us. I know that He’s in control because I’ve said, “here, God. I can do nothing in this situation to make things go smoothly for us. No amount of my worrying will change a thing. But You can.”
There’s a song. The lyrics are coming to my mind right now:
I won’t win this battle
With the strength of my own hands.
You’re the Mountain Mover,
And only You can.
I won’t build my life
On sinking sand.
You’re my hope forever,
The Rock where I stand. ♥
What I’ve learned is when God sends me lyrics, I better go listen to the song again, and that’s where I’ll find His comfort. In Him reaching out directly to me through the words of that particular song.
So I’m going to play it quietly while your dad tries to get in some z’s before we have another newborn.
After all, mommy needs to be confident and calm. I have a blind date with a handsome little man later today. And I just know I’m going to fall in love.
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